The Quiet Pulse

Over the last month, while living alone in Munich because Jaya is in India, I’ve been trying to do a few things differently. Just to not fall into the same routine every day. Yesterday, I went to a winter classical concert at the Hercules Hall in the Residenz. Mel had invited me. I don’t usually go for classical music, so I didn’t know what to expect. But I’m really glad I went. 1) While listening, I noticed something interesting. The music started very smooth and comforting. It was beautiful. But after a while, it became almost too smooth. I could feel my mind relaxing so much that I thought I might fall asleep. And then suddenly the tempo changed. There was tension. Drama. A bit of unpredictability. Something slightly uncomfortable. And that’s when it became even more engaging. It made me think about life. When everything is smooth and easy, we say we want that. But if it stays that way for too long, it becomes boring. It’s the problems, the uncertainty, the tension, the parts where ...

Lately I’ve been thinking about how much our self-worth depends on the people around us. Not in a dramatic way, just in a very practical and quiet way. When I was in 11th and 12th standard in India, most of the people around me were preparing for the IIT JEE exams. Everyone was solving mock papers, talking about ranks, comparing scores. I was there with them, but I wasn’t performing at that level. At that time, I genuinely felt like I was falling behind in life. My self-worth was low. I thought something was wrong with me. Nothing about me as a person was fundamentally broken. I was just in a group where success was defined by something I wasn’t good at. Later, I moved into a different environment and did my Bachelor of Management Studies. Suddenly I was doing well. I had good grades, good presentations, confidence, and I ranked sixth in my class. The same person who felt like a failure in one group now felt successful in another. If I look back honestly, not much about my core abiliti...

Over the last few months, I’ve started realizing something about life. Almost everything we want, almost everything we chase, and almost everything we complain about has two sides. Most things are both a blessing and a curse. It just depends on where you’re standing and how you’re looking at them. Let me explain with some real examples from my own life. Right now, in my work, I’m doing okay. I’m stable. I’m learning. But I’m not really moving to the next level in terms of promotions or big growth. And in today’s world, that feels like a problem. Everyone is supposed to be growing. Everyone is supposed to be moving up. So sometimes it feels like I’m falling behind. That’s the curse part. But because I’m not running behind the next promotion all the time, I’ve also gained something. I’ve started mentoring others. I spend more time with my family. I’ve learned how to cook and bake. I read more. I explore things outside work. In many ways, I’m growing a lot, just not in the way society usu...